2014/08/30
2014/08/28
做一個受歡迎的借宿客人
到沙發主人家中借宿,第一個和最重要的原因是文化交流,第二個原因才是省旅費,所以沙發主人會因為和我們相處的經驗而決定將來會不會繼續接待客人,也可能因此而鼓勵身邊的友人加入或退出借宿行列,所以我們每一個行為都影響著這種旅行方式的運作的。以下的是自己過去幾年當沙發客人的經驗,跟大家分享一下:
1.
主動溝通 -- 從第一刻踏入沙發主人家開始,請坦誠溝通,若果真的剛剛長途跋涉又髒又累,可主動告知對方自己想先沖涼先小休一會,對方不會不理解的
2.
好管閒事 -- 梳洗過後,休息過後,不要只把自己關在房間裏,只顧自己上網做自己事情,記著那不是旅館是別人的家,主動到處看看家裏人都在忙甚麼,有甚麼事情可以一起做的,了解沙發主人的起居作息
3.
文化交流一 -- 把自己國家的技能獻技,把沙發主人的名字翻譯成中文名,可以的話帶上毛筆墨水紅紙把對方名字當作揮春寫
4.
文化交流二 -- 教對方講中文,最簡單的問候語你好嗎,我很好、謝謝、我愛你、帥哥美女都可以
5.
文化交流三 -- 帶上幾雙筷子教沙發主人用筷子,和小孩子來個夾東西比賽,自己就用左手吧
6.
文化交流四 -- 示範摺紙藝術,最簡單的飛機氣球百合花會郁動的青蛙紙鶴都超級受歡迎
7.
文化交流五 -- 世界各地都有中餐館沒有人不喜歡中餐的,給沙發主人煮一頓正宗中餐吧,容易找到材料又易煮的有可樂雞、炒土豆絲,港式甜品有木瓜糖水、番薯糖水、芒果布甸
8.
文化交流六 -- 把自己背包的東西都拿出來跟沙發主人分享一下,也許沙發主人很少出國,然後會對自己背包每一樣東西都感到很好奇,原來背包客是需要很少東西就能生存的
9.
文化交流七 -- 沙發主人接待外國客人就想增長自己的見識,跟對方分享自己旅途中的相片和旅行時的小故事吧
10. 送小禮物 -- 可以的話準備一些富有自己國家民族特式的小禮品送給沙發主人吧
11. 分擔開支 -- 說到底,沙發主人家的燈油火蠟柴米油鹽也要開支的,有機會一起外出的話幫忙付點雜費,其中一次的超市帳單,甚至汽車加油也可以,否則只有自己外出的話歸家時順便買些水果吧
12. 不要把自己當客人,請把自己當成一家人 -- 借宿客人只是一個名字,沙發主人沒有責任侍候自己,在自己家中也有義務分擔家務、掃地洗碗吧,在借宿家庭也一樣,可以幫手做公家的最好,否則把自己的基本責任個人衛生做好,把浴室清理乾淨,自己的碗筷自己收拾自己洗
大部分借宿家庭都是因為喜歡旅遊才會當沙發主人的,也許他們很少出國,或暫時沒有機會像自己一樣放下一切到處流浪,但他們願意無條件開放自己家庭接待陌生人都是希望從我們身上拿到一些啟發和熱情,讓那顆出國見聞的心繼續燃燒,也許,這只是大家生命中唯一一次的相遇,所以更加要好好珍惜大家共處的時刻把它變得有價值啊~~
Watlab Lake, J&K, India - Aug 2014 |
2014/08/27
借宿 讓我的旅程看見不一樣的風景
還記得小時候當女童軍,有一次活動是把寫好的明信片投到大會設置注有不同國家名稱的小郵箱,便有機會跟當地的女童軍做筆友。那時候對世界地圖毫無概念,只聽說過世界上有美國澳洲歐洲(那時候還真的以為歐洲是一個國家的名子啊~~),然後我看見到了新加坡的箱子,從來沒有聽過新加坡這個國家啊,於是就把明信片投了進去,不知過了多久,我竟然真的收到了新加坡女童軍的回信,高興到不得了。那時候還不知道原來新加坡是在亞洲的,還有,原來我的筆友也是華人來的。
那個時候開始,我幻想著若果能夠在每個國家每個地方都有朋友多好,出國旅行的時候就可以到他們家投宿,體驗當地人的生活,又可以從當地人口中更加認識和了解一個地方,真真正正的文化交流。然後,沙發沖浪網站的出現,讓我當年的夢想成真,我真的可以在世界各地結識新朋友,然後在當地人的家庭投宿,然後,學習過著他們的生活步伐和節奏。
還記得第一次聽到借宿的事情,是數年前的新聞報導,話說有一個香港女生在英國借宿時給沙發主人強姦了,我只能從新聞報導了解事件,所以也不好作任何猜測。但是我相信借宿網站的設計初衷是善意的,是讓窮遊背包客省住宿費同時又可以入住當地家庭,互相了解對方文化,於是我也立即在沙發沖浪網開啟了帳戶,用心填寫個人資料和放了好幾張有代表性的相片,希望尋找的借宿主人更能夠了解和願意接待自己。
那時候居住在中東巴林,第一次發出借宿請求的國家是,黎巴嫩。那時候剛剛開啟借宿帳戶,覺得每次只應該發出一封借宿請求,因為代表我真的是想認識對方啊,不是為了尋找免費住宿啊。當過了兩三天都沒有收到回覆,我才決定向新的借宿主人發出下一封郵件。好不容易找到了一個應承接待我的黎巴嫩男生,還說好了他會來機場接我。到達黎巴嫩機場,在說好的地方等他,可是等了差不多一小時那個男生都沒有出現,給他打電話也沒有接聽,最後還是放棄了,自己坐車到市中心找住宿算了,之後再也沒有聽過這個男生的消息,這是我第一次借宿的經驗。
第二次使用借宿網站,是打算到意大利和瑞士旅遊。從來都沒有特別想到歐洲,選擇到歐洲旅行是因為自己即將離職了,也許應該好好把握還能購買一折機票的機會。歐洲物價出名昂貴,行程十二天共遊歷兩個國家,選好幾個大城市後努力在借宿網站尋找沙發主人。經過一個月的努力,竟然真的給我找到了六位沙發主人,因為希望多點時間跟沙發主人交流,所以每一戶人家都預留了兩晚時間,只有最後一位是一晚的。最後,旅程如計劃般順利進行,有機會入住當地人的家庭,看看不同人的居住環境,也讓我有機會從他們眼中認識他們生活的地方,好不有趣的經驗。
今年二月出發流浪,以為很難再像以往般找到沙發主人了,因為過往都是在旅程出發前計劃好路線,和確認好所有借宿家庭的。今次的旅程卻不一樣,行程計劃路線都不確定,每一站都是未知。萬萬想不到,當真的走在路上後借宿卻原來也可以繼續,出發流浪至今半年時間,數一數記錄原來自己已經在三十六個當地家庭借宿,看見這個數字自己都嚇了一跳。
因為借宿,我的旅程不再局限於名勝觀光,我開始看見不一樣的風景,我能夠體驗當地人的生活方式,了解不同國藉不同文化的風土人情小故事,慢慢擴濶自己的視野,逐漸啟發自己的思想。
1.
在羅馬的沙發主人家我遇到了一對來自法國的情侶,他們打算用半年時間騎單車從法國到中國,原來兩個人的單車旅行是那麼浪漫的
2.
在佛羅倫斯我跟沙發主人一起製作了最地道的意大利薄餅,原來pizza也不是那麼難整的
3.
在瑞士的草原小鎮沙發女主人給我試穿她珍藏的傳統瑞士服飾拍照,又給我煮芝士火鍋做晚餐
4.
在瑞士的雪山小鎮我住進了一間二百年歷史的小木屋,還從沙發主人身上知道了Adventure Tourism這樣東西,也因此決定了要走Adventure Education 的路
5.
在台灣屏東我和男友住進了一位國中老師的家,她的家又大又美,還帶了我們到她常去的咖啡廳和吃超好吃的芝士蛋糕,從此愛上台灣的休閒寫意生活
6.
在南印的首都沙發主人是一位作家媽媽,她把我當做女兒一樣照顧,還幫我看掌相給我講解了我的一生
7.
在南印的小鎮住進了一家醫生世家,以為他們的家已經是豪宅,想不到第二天到他們親戚家吃午餐才知道自己是井底之蛙,室外有私家泳池按摩浴池屋子只有兩層高屋內卻有升降機室內佈置古董收藏可媲美博物館主人房的衣服鞋子收藏比名店還要多全屋有五六個工人大廚除時候命,那根本就是電視劇集才會見到的豪宅格局
8.
在曙光村有機會跟一名沙發主人見面聊天,他是曙光村的客席藝術家也是電影編劇,現正申請成為曙光村永久居民,他學識廣博眼光獨到,還跟我分享了許多曙光村資訊成立背景創辦人資料發展現況讓我數小時內獲益良多
9.
在清奈跟著沙發主人到鄰居家作客,鄰居是當地的名導演後來還有機會一起看他拍電影
10.
在斯里蘭卡首都的沙發主人友人第二天會出席另一友人的婚禮,於是把我也一併帶上,新朗是空軍高層於是整個婚禮採用空軍儀式進行,隆重到不得了
11.
在斯里蘭卡西南部小鎮的借宿媽媽是虔誠的佛教徒,每天早上都到屋子附近佛寺然後用一小時誦經唸佛
12.
在斯里蘭卡剛巧遇著佛教衛塞節,於是和沙發主人女兒一起製造傳統紙燈籠佈置家居
13.
在斯里蘭卡東南部的沙發主人當國家公園導遊,屋子雖然簡樸但四周椰林樹影不遠處小溪潺潺那不就是自己夢寐以求的居住環境嗎
14.
回到南印大城市借宿的沙發主人帥得像個電影明星,一起在家看寶萊塢電影還耐心給我講解印度電影文化
15.
在印度中部小鎮沙發主人太太跟我分享了她的故事,她的原生家庭是印度種姓制度最高級別的婆羅門屬於祭司階級所以自少吃素連雞蛋也不會碰,以前看見別人吃雞蛋甚至會想吐,但下嫁的丈夫雖然是同一階級卻喜歡吃雞蛋於是只好克服對雞蛋的恐懼,現在會為丈夫煮雞蛋但卻千萬不能讓自己原生家庭知道
16.
在同一家庭遇著生意往來的伙伴辦白事,於是有機會了解印度教家庭的喪禮儀式,剛過身的老婆婆以半坐半躺姿勢安放在家中,讓親戚朋友在她腳上放花圈,借宿主人說印度教家庭會採用火葬但不會用棺木,只有回教家庭才用棺木土葬的
17.
在印度中部大城市的沙發主人是來自肯亞的男生,他說在印度唸大學較肯亞便宜得多於是便決定把大學本科碩士博士都唸完才回國,有機會跟著沙發主人參觀他的學校原來印度的大學是這個樣子的
18.
在北印小鎮的借宿爸爸全身中風癱瘓要坐電動輪椅不能說話不能飲食要用喉管吸痰要用儀器灌輸食物要人全天候伺候,借宿媽媽每天不辭勞苦幫借宿爸爸準備食物洗澡按摩給他說故事,借宿爸爸一個眼神借宿媽媽便立即知道他需要甚麼,我在他們身上看見了甚麼是不離不棄的愛情
19.
在同一家庭,信奉印度教的借宿媽媽每天早上都在家中給各尊神像做禮拜儀式,給衪們燒香換新衣點硃砂,非常虔誠的教徒
20.
在同一家庭,遇上了工作客戶的五星級婚禮邀請,沙發主人太太給我借來了華麗衣裳,借宿媽媽給我借來了閃閃生輝飾物,然後大家一起盛裝出席婚宴,婚禮設在酒店戶外草地,覆蓋範圍像一個標準足球場那麼大,圍繞四周的是各式各樣的印度餐和西餐自助餐,還有各省大廚即場烹調侍候,會場入口有一位白人美女假扮噴水池雕像,遠處舞台又有三位白人美女裝模作樣扮現場演奏,會場中間有拍外景專用的吊雞車不斷自轉拍攝現場直播,我像大鄉里出城一樣被五光十色的婚禮場景吸引著,借宿家人上台祝賀新人完畢回來跟我說要離開才驚覺自己連一對新人長甚麼樣子都還沒有看清楚
21.
在印度西北部大城市的沙發主人是客席大學教授,他的學識廣博談吐風趣幽默,於是我叫他把印度的歷史宗教文化風俗種姓制度還有火車基建都給我講解一遍,雖然沒有完全聽懂但多少對印度各項資料都加深了一點點認識
22.
在北印小鎮的沙發女主人是「順勢療法」(Homeopathy)醫師,扺達她家中後卻不知甚麼原因突然發高燒腹瀉不止整個人病倒了,晚上沙發女主人給我義診又給我開了藥粉,只吃了一劑第二天早上已經差不多痊癒了,很神奇的順勢療法啊
23.
在北印大城市的沙發主人跟我說,他的友人在鎮外山上負責管理一間濕婆神廟,印度教的濕婆神(Shiva)是破壞之神,他喜歡抽大麻,所以在濕婆神廟內吸食大麻是修行的一種,他問我要不要試,我說不用了,因為我不是印度教徒
24.
在喀什米爾南部大城市的沙發主人是政府醫生,他帶我到一間座落於郊區的政府診所參觀,門外的價目表清楚寫著驗血十元,驗尿二十元,驗孕和驗愛滋也是二十元,照X光五十元,我說的當然是盧比,港幣兌換請自行除八,收費一視同仁,外國遊客也是收這個費用
25.
來到喀什米爾回教地區,第一次住進了當地人的家才驚覺房子很大房間很多但感覺空空如也,因為當地人習慣席地而坐席地而吃席地而睡所以全屋的傢俬寥寥可數因為錢都花到名貴手工羊毛地毯上了
27.
沙發主人妹妹才二十三歲,明年即將舉行婚禮了,她說這是一段Love Marriage不是Arranged Marriage (父母安排的),未婚夫是她以前的中學同學,她偷偷跟我說去年她跟家人提出她打算下嫁這位男同學時父親生氣不已,還和她的兩位哥哥一起對她拳打腳踢結果她在醫院住了四天,她希望早點離開她的原生家庭因為她未婚夫的家庭思想較開通她相信婚後的生活會過得比現在好
28.
在喀什米爾的沙發主人家遇上了一名來自馬來西亞的華人借宿背包客,於是大家一起結伴同遊了半個月
29.
在喀什米爾最大的湖泊邊我們竟然找到了借宿家庭,世外桃園一樣的小漁村住著一群簡單純樸的居民和天真無邪的小孩,可以的話永永遠遠都不想離開
30.
在喀什米爾西北部小鎮的借宿家庭鄰居親戚剛巧舉行婚姻,一大群大廚在婚宴帳篷外即場烹調全羊宴,
,然後四人一大盤飯菜一起共享,還請來樂隊歌手舞者現場載歌載舞,第一次經歷兩日一夜的婚宴
31.
在喀什米爾到訪過的所有回教家庭,我仍能看見男主外女主內男尊女卑的傳統習俗,家中婦女煮飯泡茶做清潔侍候家中男人,最大塊的肉食都是留給男人和客人在客廳享用,女人只能躲在廚房吃剩菜和以菜汁撈飯,女人們的存在價值就是要找個好歸宿結緍生小孩,這,也許也是古代中國婦女的寫照吧
若果,家庭是組成社會的最基本部份,若果,家庭是每個人成長的性格根源,感恩我有機會入住那麼多的借宿家庭,和當地人一起生活,去認識去了解不同國籍不同宗教不同習俗的差異,每一種文化對每一個家庭日常起居生活習慣的構成,也許,家家都有本難唸的經,只有深入了解每一個故事,學會從別人的角度出發,旅行才變得有意義,世界才會變得更美好。
Aharbal Waterfall, J&K, India - Aug 2014 |
2014/08/26
一個女生借宿錦囊
2009年開始至今差不多六個年頭了,每次背包旅行時都使用沙發沖浪網站(couchsurfing.com)找尋借宿主人,曾經借宿過的國家地區包括意大利,瑞士,台灣,新加坡,印度,斯里蘭卡,借宿人家共四十戶,現在姐跟大家分享一些必勝但安全至上的小tips~~
1.
選擇自己要旅遊的地區後,請先把沙發主人結果篩選和過濾 -- 想要男生女生還是很多人的自己決定吧,年紀比姐少十年以上的也未免太年輕了姐溝通不了,成熟穩重甚至退了休的姐卻沒有所謂,但最重要一定要附有相片的,都甚麼年代了怎麼可能一張數碼相片也沒有,相睇也要先看相片吧,何況現在是借宿啊
2.
然後把借宿主人結果按「最近上線」排列 -- 姐才不要浪費時間在那些開了帳戶卻十年不上線的人身上
3.
在清單上的結果先來個速看,零留言的可以不理,照片合眼緣的可以先在另一視窗開啟 -- 於是姐會開了十個八個視窗之後再慢慢細看內容
4.
請仔細閱讀審視每一位沙發主人的所有資料 (自我介紹,沙發內容,客人留言,相片) -- 人家寫明喜歡喝酒抽煙去派對姐就是不喜歡姐寧願花錢住旅館好了
5.
客人曾經留有任何負面或中肯留言的都要仔細閱讀詳盡了解
-- 姐就試過好幾次為了買個安心而另外給那些客人發訊息詢問當時具體程況
6.
謹慎留意沙發主人資料有沒有疑點
7.
疑點一 -- 單身男子自己一個人住,在客人選項卻選取「寧願要女生」,這是不是有點可疑呢?姐要的是文化交流不是異性交流啊
8.
疑點二 -- 客人選項明明選取「歡迎兩性」,但朋友圈子和客人留言卻通通只有女生,男背包客都跑到那裏去了
9.
疑點三 -- 帳戶開了好幾年,回覆率卻超級低,代表人家給他發借宿請求卻選擇性回覆,非常不禮貌
10.
合眼緣的感覺良好的興趣相投的可以發借宿請求了
11.
介紹自己旅程的篇幅copy & paste其實也沒有所謂,但「為甚麼要選這位借宿主人」請用心逐篇逐篇填寫,說說和對方有共同興趣也好,讚讚對方的照片拍得很美也好,讓對方感覺到自己的誠意和真心想認識對方的
12.
最後,你選人人選你,所以請確保自己的帳戶資料詳盡有趣,能夠代表自己性格特質興趣的相片就多放幾張吧
-- 姐的帳戶就放了十多二十張不同類型不同活動不同國家的相片了
祝福大家都有安全愉快的文化交流借宿體驗啊~~
2014/08/25
Ochivaye Dreams 11 – Dream of Living Overseas of a Malaysian 夢想專訪11 – 馬來西亞男生的旅活夢
After leaving home for half a year, it was
the first time for me to travel with someone for such a long time, half a
month’s time. I found this Malaysia Chinese guy was very calm, humble and patient.
I never ever saw him impatient or angry, and I was so keen to know more about
him.
Daraz was 28 years old this year. To him
dream is something very big, like serving the society or contributing to the
world. He didn’t really have anything big dream so dream is something very far
away from him. Goal, however, is more realistic, everyone has a goal in
different stages of their life, one goal appears after another. For him, he
only wants to do things he likes, so he is achieving his goals now and let
things become valuable.
Daraz said he didn’t have much thoughts
before going to University. He used to have a very stable life, just going to
schools and taking exams, never thought of doing anything great. His mom was
from Taiwan, so he went there a few times before and liked it there. In
Malaysia it was very common to attend University there as Taiwan was considered
one of the cheapest place with good schools and good food. Daraz also thought
he would go to University there too.
Daraz never thought he would ever study in
Mainland China. He applied because his classmates applied only. He submitted
three choices and the third choice Zhejiang University accepted him. He never
heard of the University before, however, his parents checked with their friends
from Mainland and found out that Zhejiang University was a good school, and
Daraz ended up accepting that offer.
Daraz said he didn’t know anything about
Mainland China and thought China was like a poor rural country. He didn’t even
have hopes on anything. There were 8 Malaysians going to Zhejiang University that
year and they took the flight together. A school van came to pick them up at
the airport. Daraz saw the houses along the way and felt they looked fine. When
reaching the school he saw the newly built hostel he was so happy because there
were concrete floors and they were the first batch living there. Then Daraz
started his happy University life in China with Biotechlogy major and started
to forget Taiwan.
Daraz used to live in Malaysia and was well
taken care of. However, living alone overseas by himself in the University, he
needed to take care of everything himself. He also found out more about
himself, what he liked and disliked. He met a lot of people and joined
different activities, and realized the world had so much. During the first
summer holiday, Daraz went traveling with his schoolmates and found out it was
so much fun and full of excitements to travel. He kept on traveling during
those years once he got the time.
Daraz started liking Tribal patterns too,
like Islamic style with geometrical shapes with triangles, rectangles and
circles designs in the mosques and carpets. One day he wish to start his own
brand and specify in designing bedsheets, sandals, slippers and socks. He won’t
think much on the marketing even though it may close down anytime, what he
likes is more important.
Daraz said he is a very lazy person.
Worklife is such a tiring thing to do while studying is so relaxing, he prefers
to study than work. He planned to take up a master degree during his Year 4,
but thought his Biotech degree was not his cup of tea anymore. He realized he
had very poor memory and didn’t like to stay in the lab all the time. That’s
why he deferred his study from 4 years to 5 years. Instead, he developed
interests in drawing and photography, arts and design, movies, or something
with people likes psychology. He applied 3 Master degrees in 3 different
Universities and got accepted by all 3. At the end he decided to choose one
which offered the most scholarships. He went to Shanghai Jiaotong University
for his master degree for 2.5 years and majored in Interaction Design.
Studying and living in China allowed Daraz
to become more independent. In 2010 he got to volunteer at the Malaysian Booth
in the World Expo for half a year, and knew more about different parts of the
world. He liked the Turkey booth very much and decided one day he would go
there too.
After master graduation Daraz wanted
continue to live and work overseas, and he worked freelance for half a year in
Shanghai on webpage design. However, he felt sick as he only slept 3 hours
everyday, and was admitted to the hospital for 1 month. Doctor recommended him
to go home and rest and stopped working. He went back to Malaysia but then he
found a job in India, and flew there after Chinese New Year and started his new
life in a new country last year.
Daraz was holding an Entry Visa for his job
in India, and needed to go through immigration every half a year. After the
first half year, he took one month no-paid leave in order to travel. At the end
the time was not enough so he decided to give up his job and started full time
traveling. This year Daraz went home for Chinese New Year and came back to
India again but with a tourist visa which required him to go through
immigration every 30 days. As a result he went to Nepal 3 times and Sri Lanka
once in the past 1 year.
Daraz finished his big trip in mid-Aug
because he has used up all his savings. He would stay home rest for a while and
may look for a new job or any other opportunity to work overseas. He wants to work
and live in the developing countries like Central Asia, Pakistan, and Turkey.
He likes to combine traveling and living in a totally new place for half a year
to a year, so that he could shop around, talks to the locals, learns their
languages, and cooks the local dishes. His mom once told him, everyone is
responsible for his own life.
I was with Daraz for half a month and
realized he was a very optimistic and open-minded person. He didn’t mind giving
his handphone or camera to some newly known people to see his pictures. For me,
those are very private and valuable items. Daraz said he likes to take the
neutral and peaceful way because he doesn’t like quarreling or complaining. Just
let it be, there is really no need to hurt anyone or get angry, because one may
do something regretful afterwards. He realized this since his primary school
time already.
Daraz shared his favorite quote with me,
“People should not wait for the thunderstorm to pass away, but to learn how to
dance in a thunderstorm. The most important thing in traveling isn’t the
scenery, but own attitude.”
Daraz gave me a bracelet made from brown
beads. He got it from an old woman in Kanyakumari, the southern tip of India.
She had a very simple look, and was selling combs and hairpins near the shore.
Her English wasn’t very good but was trying to tell Daraz her business was not
good. She insisted to put on the bracelet on Daraz, but he thought if she asked
for money he would just return it to her. At the end she didn’t ask for
anything and just walked away, and later on even came back with a tea for him.
Daraz felt bad what he thought about her because she was the only person he met
in India without asking for money, which is really a rare thing in India. The
bracelet really connected him and her. Daraz wish the next dream achiever who
receives this bracelet can give his own meaning to the bracelet.
24 August 2014
Written in Dubai home
“來到喀休米爾,我借宿在一個回教家庭裏,住宿主人家裏空房間很多,過了幾天他們又接待了一個馬來西亞的華人男生。好久沒有遇到華人背包客了,第一天晚上大家有的沒的聊到興高采烈的,大馬男生在印度工作了大半年,然後在印度旅遊了差不多一年,他旅程剩下最後三星期就要回國了,最後的日子他也沒有甚麼大計劃要到那裏要幹甚麼的,因為他的旅費都快要用完了,我在印度同樣只剩下大半個月的時間,既然大家的旅遊方式都是隨心而行,於是我們決定要一起結伴同遊。” – 轉載自「桃花園記」
出門流浪半年時間,第一次跟別人一起結伴同遊那麼久,足足半個月時間,大馬男生為人隨和、沒架子,耐性好得不得了,從來看不到他有半點牌氣或不耐煩的時候,所以,我也很有興趣多了解他成長的故事。
Daraz今年28歲,他說,每次聽見有人說夢想,都覺得是一些很偉大很了不起的事情,像要服務社會、貢獻世界,所以夢想對他來說是很遙遠的東西,因為他真的沒有甚麼偉大事情想做。目標卻不一樣,是比較實際的,是人生中每一個階段都有的,完成一個目標後又會有新的目標,從完成目標的過程中訂立新的目標。對他來說,他只想做自己喜歡做的事情,所以他現在是正在達成目標,讓事情變得有價值。
Daraz說自己上大學之前都沒有甚麼想法,只是不斷上課考試,安穩的生活不斷循環,從沒有想過要做什麼事情。他的媽媽是台灣人,從小到大到過台灣幾次,他也很喜歡台灣。在馬來西亞,到台灣升學是很普遍的事情,因為那是一個相對便宜的出國地方,學校也不錯,食物也好吃,甚麼都有,所以他一直的想法也是到台灣升學的。
Daraz從來也沒有想過要到中國大陸升學,那時候卻因為同學申請,於是他也湊熱鬧一起申請,總共有三個選擇,放第三名的杭州浙江大學最後竟然錄取了他。他從來沒有聽說過這間大學,只知道清華北大而已,他一心想到台灣讀書,但父母跟友人打聽後得知浙江大學名氣很好,於是半推半就後他便到了大陸讀書了。
Daraz說那時候自己像個鄉巴佬,對中國大陸一點概念都沒有,以為那裏還是個貧困農村,也不抱有任何希望。那一年總共有八個馬來西亞人到浙江大學唸書,於是他們一起搭飛機,下了飛機後有校巴來接載。看見一路上經過的房屋,感覺還可以,抵達學校看見新建成的宿舍,真的不得了,竟然有石灰地,他們將會是第一批入住的學生,那一刻他真的高興得不得了。Daraz唸的是生物技術,他在大陸開展了非常愉快的大學生活,慢慢把台灣忘記了。
Daraz以前在馬來西亞的生活衣食無憂,但大學時期在國外生活,任何事情都要自己安排,同時間,他也更清楚知道自己到底喜歡甚麼不喜歡甚麼。接觸的朋友多了、活動多了,才發現世界上原來有很多不同的東西。從第一個暑假開始,Daraz便和室友一起去旅行,原來旅行是那麼好玩的,充滿新鮮刺激的感覺,一有時間他也盡量用來旅行。
那時候開始Daraz喜歡上民族風的東西,尤其伊斯蘭教那種用幾何圖形構成的圖案,像回教堂、地毯的設計都是由三角型方型圓型組成的。有一天他希望有機會開設一個自己的品牌,專做床單拖鞋涼鞋襪子,也不考慮市場因素了,很容易倒閉也沒法子,因為自己喜歡就好。
Daraz說他是一個很懶惰的人,工作是很疲倦的事情,讀書是很輕鬆的,所以能讀就多讀。當他本科唸到大四時開始找老師打算唸硏究所,但本科主修的生物技術已經唸不下去了,因為他發覺自己的記憶力很差,和不喜歡常常呆在實驗室,否則也不會四年本科延期至五年才能夠畢業。他對畫畫攝影美術設計電影等產生了濃厚興趣,又或是可以與人接觸的心理學有關的科目都可以,他申請了三間硏究所,最後竟然全部取錄,於是他決定以奬學金的多寡來決定。最終Daraz到了上海交通大學唸兩年半碩士課程,主修互動設計。
中國讀書和生活的體驗令Daraz變得獨立。2010年更有幸在上海世博內的馬來西亞的展館當了半年義工,令他對世界有更深的體會。那時候看到土耳其的展館很美,亦令他決定有一天一定要到訪土耳其。
硏究所畢業後Daraz打算繼續在外地工作和生活,他在上海做了半年自由工作者,負責設計網頁,可是卻因為每天只睡三小時而弄至身體不適,要到醫院療養一個月,後來醫生亦建議他回家休養,不建議他再操勞工作。回到馬來西亞家中後,Daraz又找到了一份在印度的工作,於是在2013年的農曆新年後他便來到一個全新的國度,展開了新的生活。
Daraz在印度工作持有的是Entry Visa,必須每半年出入境一次。當他工作了半年,本來打算拿取一個月無薪假去旅行,最後卻發覺時間不夠,最終決定放棄工作,正式開展全職旅行。今年農曆年回家過節後他又再次回到印度,今次轉換了旅遊簽證,需要每三十天出境一次,結果在過去一年間他到過三次尼泊爾和一次斯里蘭卡。
Daraz會在八月中結束他的旅程回到馬來西亞,原因是他已經把所有積蓄花光了,回家先休息一陣子,或許找找工作,或找找其他在外地工作的機會。他希望能到發展中國家旅居,例如中亞、巴基斯坦、土耳其,他喜歡把旅行和生活結合在一起,在一個全新的地方生活一陣子,大約半年至一年時間,到市場逛逛、跟當地人聊天、學當地語言、學煮當地菜。他媽媽跟他說過,自己的人生要自己負責。
我和Daraz一起相處的半個月時間裏,發覺他性格樂觀,為人大方不計較,有很多小事情他都不介意,例如整部手機和相機交到剛認識的人手中讓他們看相片。於我而言,那些都是很私穩又貴重的物件。Daraz卻說他只是採取中庸之道、以和為貴的做人之本,他不喜歡吵架或抱怨,既來之則安之,因為沒有必要得罪別人,也沒有必要生氣,因為可能會因此而做出後悔事情,他小學時期已經悟出這個道理了。
Daraz跟我分享他最愛的座佑銘,「人不是要等待暴風雨渡過,而是要學會如何在暴風雨中跳舞,旅行最重要的不是風景,而是自己的心態。」
Daraz跟我交換的禮物是一條咖啡色珠鏈,是他在印度最南部Kanyakumari一個人旅行時,一位老太太送他的。那是一位打扮很樸素的老太太,她拿著梳子、髮夾之類的東西在海邊售賣,她英文不好,大約想表達自己生意不好,然後老太太堅持把珠鏈載在Daraz手上。他想若果老太太要收錢的話就立即歸還給她,但最後那老太太沒有向他要錢便離開了,後來還給他買來了奶茶。Daraz說他為自己之前的想法而感到很羞愧,因為老太太是唯一一個送禮物給他而不求回報的印度人,在印度真是一件很難能可貴的事情,這條珠鏈,正正代表著他和她的連結。Daraz希望接收這份禮物的追夢者可以再次給珠鏈賦予新的意義,因為意義都是人賦予的。
24/08/2014
寫於杜拜友人家中
2014/08/23
Ochivaye Dreams 10 – Dream of Empower One Billion Youth Campaign of an Indian 夢想專訪10 – 印度男生的一千萬青年充權夢
I met Abhishek during my volunteer stay
at Sadhana Forest, Auroville back in April 2014. I only met him for a few days
as Indian had an option not to stay for the minimum requirement of 2 weeks.
However, he was a very mature person although he was only 20 years old. He knew
how to interact with people proactively, how to introduce two unknown people to
each other in a very positively way, and he always appreciated good things the
other people did. One coincidence about us was he grew up in a country where I
worked as a Cabin Crew. I got his contact hoping to get to know him better if I
had the chance to see him again. Finally, when I headed to Bombay, he was able
to host me and I gotta know him more, but still, I was so shocked when I found
out this young gentleman had already published 2 books.
Studying,
the Only Goal in Life
Abhishek is an Indian but was born and brought
up in Bahrain. He went to Bombay with his family a few times before to visit his
relatives during the summer holidays, but he didn’t really see the city before.
When he was young he did quite well in
school as he could manage his exams easily, at that time he felt life was all about
doing well in exams. However, in Grade 7-9 he
could
not cope as much and his grades started going down, and got worst in Grade 10. He
stopped enjoying school, he took subjects his friends were taking but he didn’t
like them at all. He also noticed even he was good at things other than
studying nobody acknowledged.
After the first semester of grade 10,
Abhishek realized he wanted to improve from failing, there should be more in
life than just standing first in class. He decided to interview students around
him who did rather well, regarding their study schedule, how they prepared for
their exams, what they did in the classrooms, how they learnt at home, and what
other activities they got involved. He spent 1-2 months on that and ended up
interviewing 50-60 people and found a common answer, they all fell in love with
the learning. At the same time, these people didn’t just focus on studying,
they would do so many different things at the same time. They didn’t study
because standing first meaning getting a good job, it was because they enjoyed
learning and studying.
With his findings from the interviews,
Abhishek decided to go on the experiment himself during his Grade 11-12 period.
He started to fall in love with his subjects, at the same time he also attended
different seminars and spoke to the speakers afterwards on how to do better. He
got inspired and decided to do more for himself. Abhishek’s grades started
improving and he got very good grade in the final exams in Grade 12. However,
he thought he would feel happy and satisfied with those good marks, but at the
end he only felt empty and nothing special. It became the turning point of his
life.
To
Share, What Himself Went Through
Abhishek thought whatever he learnt from
his experience he must also share with other students. He tried to conduct some
sharing seminars in Bahrain. He organized everything himself, including making
the presentation, finding venues and promotions. He contacted the local
newspaper and used the event function on FB page as a free event. At the end he
conducted 3-4 seminars and around 50-60 students attended. At the time Abhishek
was only 17 years old.
In 2012, Abhishek decided to go to
university in Bombay to study Journalism because in Bahrain there weren’t a lot
of courses to choose from. Bombay was a vibrant city, a totally different
environment from Bahrain which was a laid back and relaxing place. He had 2-3
months to spare before his college started. He started reading and explored the
streets and met people. He became more open-up and realized there were more in
life than just do what needed to be done. He spent 1-2 months writing his
manuscript for his first book and tried to approach publisher for his book. He
went to different offices, 23 publishers said no, finally the 24th
one said yes after 1.5months’ effort. In Jan 2013 his first book “Academic
Excellence” on doing well in school and falling in love with the learning was
published during his first year of college.
Failure,
is the Mother of Success
Abhishek decided to conduct seminars and
talks in Bombay too. He approached the schools and colleges both directly or
indirectly, physically or through emails, explaining his seminar and it was
free of charge. However, he was always challenged what he would know because of
his young age, he was only 18 years old. He approached almost 600 schools and finally
one said yes. Abhishek conducted his first seminar in Bombay and at the end the
teachers were happy, and the teachers referred him to another school, and then
another school, and so on,
In March 2013, Abhishek started a
campaign called “Empower One Billion - Youth Empowerment Movement”, he combined
and consolidated his knowledge and experience to encourage young people to work
on things they were passionate about. Over the last years he held 120 events in
more than 10 cities and reached 20000 students. It was not just a talk, but
like a conversation. Abhishek said if somebody did that for him when he was in
school before, he would be so different.
While doing his sessions, Abhishek
thought of putting the information into another manuscript which became his
second book, “101 Habits to Greatness – Small Steps to Everyday Change”,
focusing on developing life skills and good habits. This time he chose to
publish it himself, involved more hard work but also more freedom. He wanted it
available everywhere and even had the E-book version. At the end he published
it in Bahrain because he knew a lot of printers and editors there, he even had
a book lounge at the bookstore in May 2013.
Achieving
Dreams, if not Now, When?
Abhishek decided to take a gap year break
from college, a chance for him to do something he really wanted to do, to think
about why he was doing what he was doing, and what he wanted to do in life. He
was interested in learning and education and he started reading on this topic
of different communities in the world. He started traveling to different parts
of India to attend seminars, conferences, book lounge, and even Oscar movies on
all kinds of topics, investment, finances, environments, arts, literature,
safety, he always spoke to the organizers to find out more. He was fascinated
what he found out because there were so much in the world.
Abhishek also decided to pack and go
around India in one big trip. He started in Bombay and went around India
anticlockwise. He had beautiful experience along the way, he spend time
volunteering, he was stuck in angry crowd in Rajasthan, he did a 6 km hike to
see all the ghats, the staircases leading to the rivers, of Varanasi, he
explored libraries and museums in Delhi, he talked to families, villagers along
the way, he also conducted seminars in Students Camps. His travel ended on May
2014.
Now he is busy finding University again.
He wanted to change his major because he realized he is more interested in arts
and literature, education and psychology. He wanted to give more to students.
He believed that every student is special, unique and meant for greatness, and
must be given the chance to fall in love with learning and to explore different
lives around them, not just live according to others people expectation when he
was in that stage few years ago only.
Success,
is Living your Dreams
Abhishek shared some successful tips
with me from his findings,
1. Crazy
passion – do something you love
2. Super
structure – make a list of things from the 100 people who are good at that
field in the world
3. 10,000
hours rule – indepth study and learn what the people did in their journeys
Abhishek also had very good thoughts on
pursuing dreams,
“If you like doing something, just put
in effort nobody can stop it. Don’t let the dream dies within you, there is
never a right time because you are the oldest today in your life, you could never
become younger again.”
“Try combining dreams and passions,
contribute to society so that the dreams are also adding values to other people
life and people will then want to support you.”
Abhishek shared with me his favorite
quotes too, the first one from a Canadian Robin Sharma, “When you were born,
you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the
world cries and you rejoice.”
The second one from an American Charlie Jones,
“You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people
you meet and the books you read.”
Presents
Exchange, continuing
Abhishek gave me the 10 stones he
collected during his big trip in India as present for exchange. He picked up
those stones only when he had significantly life changing experience in the
particular places.
Stones from
1. Bombay
– he wanted to keep something from his hometown, he picked it while coming back
from the train station.
2. Goa
– He felt happy and free as it was his first time having a big trip, and got
the stone from a beach near the ocean
3. Kanyakumari
– He was standing at the southmost tip of India
4. Sadhana
Forest, Auroville – He went beyond himself and lived with others though doing
services, he got the stone from Marina Beach, Chennai
5. 30
hrs train journey from Chennai to Kolkata – he had a lot of thoughts and he
spoke to many people on the train ride which was transformative
6. Kolkata
– he got the stone in a bank of a river to remind this beautiful city
7. Guwahati,
NW region of India – he and his friends drove around the region and had a very
nice road trip, he got the stone from a cave
8. Varanasi
– he had a 6km long walk in a day in order to see all the ghats (staircases)
along the Holy River Ganga
9. Chail,
Himachal Pradesh – it was a beautiful hill station and he went inside a flowing
river and picked up the stone
10.
Jaipur – it was a literature
festival and he spoke to so many people
Abhishek hoped the stones could remind
the next person never be afraid to live the life you wanna live, even it looks
stupid. Love yourself who you truly are, because you are beautiful beyond
measure.
22 Aug 2014
written in Dubai home
今年四月份在印度曙光村環保森林做義工時認識了印度男生Abhishek,我和他只相處了三數天而已,對他的印像卻非常深刻。雖然他只有二十歲,言談舉止卻非常成熟,他很主動認識新朋友,也懂得把兩位陌生人互相介紹給對方認識,他還會常常欣賞別人的長處。很巧合地,他是在我當空姐的中東國家長大和讀書,於是我拿了他在印度的聯絡資料,若果有機會重遇他的話一定要好好了解他的故事。當我的旅程來到孟買時聯絡上了他,他也很樂意接待我到他家借宿,於是我便藉此機會好好認識這位新朋友,但當我發現原來二十歲的他卻已經出版了兩本著作時,我仍是嚇了一大跳。
讀書 就是人生的全部
Abhishek 是在中東巴林出生和長大的印度人,讀書時候每隔兩年暑假他都會跟隨家人回孟買探親,卻從來沒有好好逛過這個城市。
Abhishek小時候讀書成績很好,那時候的考試都很容易過關,以前他覺得人生目的就是要讀書考試。七年級到九年級時期他的成績開始下滑,十年級時最差,他變得不喜歡讀書,選科只是因為跟從朋友一起選,自己對那些科目完全沒有興趣。另一方面,雖然他讀書成績不好,但課外活動的奬項卻沒有太多人欣賞。
來到十年級第一學期結束,Abhishek發覺他不可能再這樣子下去了,除了讀書外,生命中應該還有其他事情的。他決定去訪問一下身邊讀書成績不錯的同學,他們的學習時間表、怎樣備課、在課室怎樣上課、在家怎樣温習,還有參與甚麼課外活動等,他共花了個多月時間去做訪問,最終訪問了五六十個學生,得出了一個共同的結論,他們都很喜愛學習,同時,他們並不只是讀書,他們也參與不同類型的課外活動,他們讀書不是為了將來要找份好工作,而是因為他們真心喜歡學習。
有了這些發現, Abhishek決定在自己身上測驗一下,餘下的十一和十二年級他學會愛上他的科目,同時他也出席不同類型的講座,也和講者交流希望讓自己變得更好。他受到很多啟發決定要為自己做更多,Abhishek的成績開始進步,最後十二年級的終期試更名列前茅。不過,原先他以為自己會因為成績好而雀躍喜悅,最後他卻沒有甚麼特別感覺和只有空虛感,那成為了他人生的轉捩點。
分享 自己所經歷的
Abhishek覺得應該要把自己的經驗與別人分享,他嘗試在巴林舉行讀書分享會,自己一個人安排所有事項,包括整理演講、找場地、做推廣,他聯絡本地報紙,也用臉書活動功能推廣自己的免費分享活動,最後他舉行了三四場分享會,大約五六十人出席,那時,Abhishek才十七歲。
然後, Abhishek決定要到孟買升大學主修傳理系,因為巴林的大學沒有很多科目可以選擇,孟買是一個充滿動感的大城市,相對於巴林卻是一個節奏緩慢和輕鬆的地方。由於還有兩三個月時間才開課,他開始看書和到街上發掘和結識不同的人,他變得越來越外向,發現人生除了家庭學校的基本要求外原來還有很多不同的東西。他用了一個多月的時間創作了他的第一本書和找出版社,可是找了二十三間全部都拒絕了他,直至第二十四間終於答應,那是經過了一個半月後的成果,於是他第一本書 “Academic Excellence”出版了,那是關於怎樣在學校做得更好和愛上學習的著作,那時Abhishek才是大學一年級生。
失敗 乃成功之母
Abhishek決定在孟買嘗試舉行學習講座和分享會,他直接地間接地,親身或電郵聯絡了孟買不同的學校,向他們介紹自己的免費學習分享講座,但是,常常得到的回覆都是他只有十八歲,他懂得甚麼。聯絡了接近六百間學校之後, Abhishek終於找到了第一間答應給他機會的學校並舉行了第一場學習分享會,最後那些老師都很滿意,然後,老師把他介紹到另一間學校,再另一間學校。
Abhishek把他的經驗和知識整理,然後把它命名為「一千萬青年充權運動」,他希望能鼓勵青年人向自己有興趣的事情出發。過去一年多他已經在十多個地區舉辦了一百二十場講座和接觸了二萬名學生,那其實不是純粹演講,反而多似是和學生交流對話。他說若果中學時期有機會聽到這樣的分享會,他對學習的感受一定會很不一樣。
舉辦分享會的同時,
Abhishek又想到了把新的想法寫成第二本書, “101 Habits to Greatness – Small Steps to Everyday Change”,內容集中在發展生命技能和養成良好習慣,這次他決定自資出版,雖然工序繁複但自由度更大,他希望能夠在不同地方發行,甚至有網上版本。最後因為認識巴林那邊的印刷商和編輯,於是他先在巴林出版書籍和舉行新書發佈會。
夢想 任何時候都可以啟航
然後,Abhishek決定要停學一年進行間隔年,他希望能夠做一些自己想做的事情,和思考自己的去向。他對教育有興趣並開始閱讀世界各地不同社會教育制度的書籍,他更到印度不同地區出席不同類型的講座、硏討會、座談會、新書發佈會,甚至奧斯卡電影,各式各樣的主題他也感興趣,投資、財經、環保、美術、文學、安全,他也會主動跟主辦單位的人員交談,期望得到更多的啟發,他對多姿多采的世界著迷了。
Abhishek決定要在印度作一個長途旅行,他從孟買開始逆時針圍繞印度一週,有很多很美好的經歷,他去了當義工,他遇到過一群怒氣沖沖的群眾,他為了看畢恒河的渡口而走了六公里,他在德里發掘了圖書館和博物館,他沿途遇到各個家庭、各種村民,他也在學生營舉行了分享會,他的旅程今年五月才剛剛結束。
現在Abhishek再次忙於找大學,因為他想轉修其他主修科目。他發覺自己對美術文學、教育心理學較大興趣,也想為學生多做一點事情,他相信每一個學生都是獨特的,都是有潛能的,應該要給予機會讓他們愛上自己的學習和發掘生命中不同的生活方式,不要只活在別人的期望當中,幾年前他就是被困在那個境地了。
成功 就是活出自己的夢想
Abhishek跟我分享了一些成功小tips:
1.
做一些充滿熱情和喜愛的事情
2.
從世界各地找一百個在那些事情上出類拔萃的人,然後把共通點寫出來
3.
相信一萬小時定律,深入學習那些共通點
關於追夢, Abhishek也有很棒的想法:
「若果真的喜愛一樣事情,請把全副心機放進去,沒有人可以阻止你,不要讓夢想消失在自己心裏,因為,永遠再不會有一個合適的時間,今天已是人生中最老的一天,永遠再不會比今天年輕了。」
「嘗試結合夢想和熱情,一個對社會有貢獻的夢想,能夠幫助別人增值他們的生命,他們亦更會願意支持你」
Abhishek跟我分享了兩句他最愛的座佑銘,第一句是來自加拿大的Robin
Sharma,「當你出生時,只有你在哭而全世界感到喜悅,請把生命活得當你過身時,全世界在哭而只有你感到喜悅。」
第二句是來自美國的Charlie
Jones,「五年後的你和今天的你是一樣的,分別只在於你遇過甚麼人和看過甚麼書。」
禮物 繼續延續
Abhishek給了我十塊石頭作交換禮物,它們都是他的間隔年時在印度不同地方撿拾留念的,每一個地方他都有一段充滿啟發的經歷。
石頭來自
1.
孟買- 代表他的家鄉,從火車站回家途中撿的
2.
Goa – 他的第一次長途旅行而感到興奮,於是在大海旁邊沙灘撿的
3.
Kanyakumari – 那是全印度最南端的地方
4.
曙光村環保森林 – 能夠跟不同國籍的義工一起生活和做服務,後來在清奈的Marina
Beach撿的
5.
從清奈到加爾各答三十小時火車旅程- 有機會好好思考和跟火車上不同背景的人聊天
6.
加爾各答 – 這是一座美麗的城市的河畔撿的
7.
Guwahati印度西北部地區
– 他和友人一起自駕遊,在一個山洞內撿的
8.
恒河 – 為了看畢所有通往恒河的渡口,他共走了六公里路
9.
Chail,
Himachal Pradesh – 那是一個美麗的山城,他走到一條河流中撿的
10.
Jaipur – 他出席了一個文學節活動,遇到很多不同的人和得到啟發
Abhishek希望收到這些石頭作禮物的追夢者,永遠不要害怕活出自己想要的生命,就算那看起來很愚蠢可笑。請愛一個真正的自己,因為那是最美的,超乎量度範圍的。
23/08/2014
寫於杜拜友人家中