2014/06/11

Ochivaye Dreams 8 – Dream of Retiring at 35 of a Sri Lankan 夢想專訪8 – 斯里蘭卡男生的35歲退休夢

Suresh was my very last couchsurfing host in Sri Lanka. At first I didn’t plan to stay with him as I could only stay for one night. Normally I preferred to stay for 2 as it gave me more time to interact with my host. However, some hiccups popped up, and I was glad I stayed with Suresh and gotta know him even though we only hang out for a few hours altogether. He needed to work night shift till midnight, but still he got up at 7am and did the interview with me.

Suresh told me he planned to “retire” at the age of 35. He was 28, so 7 more years to go. It sounded like an idealistic retirement plan for most people and I was so interested to know his plan in details.

Suresh explained, he planned to take a career break and go traveling at 35. At the moment he only does short trips. If he were to have early retirement, he needed to have his means sorted, so that he could have a proper traveling. After that, he could stay somewhere in Sri Lanka where he can live a healthy organic lifestyle with clean air and water, a calm place with waterfalls, thick forest, and no mobile coverage, not disturbed by anyone. He hates fast forward culture and working late. He likes the nature, hearing the birds and waterfall flowing.

What he needs to do before he could start his big trip in 35, first he needs to make sure he saves enough. At the moment he does small travels, not to expensive places though. In order to travel properly, he needs to work on and have proper earning. He has 2 thoughts at the moment, one is he can start putting up a business on his own. He will do what he knows and he feels he is capable of doing it. He spent the past 6 years working in outsourcing and trading and he has learnt lots of tricks. He could apply his knowledge in other industries. If he starts his business before 30, he will have 5 years to establish and hand over the business to somebody so that he could go on for his trip while having constant income at the same time. Another thought is continue working in the same company till 35, then he can get a very good gratuity, but after that he will have no income source.

Suresh shared there were 3 big stages in his life which affected his belief so much and made him who he is now. He started working right after college and didn’t have any gap year. His first job was a stock broker, it was an intense job and he lived a busy life. The tsunami came in 2004, he didn’t know how bad it was when he watched the news. He took on volunteering job and when he got there all he saw were ruins and dead bodies everywhere. It was a traumatic experience for him. It taught him an important lesson of what life is, no matters what we do or how much we earn, we never know when it is time to leave. Then he changed to an Event Management job which was a lot easier and his work life was not so intense.

The second stage was his mom passed away. He quitted his job again and changed to his current job when he can work nighttime, while his brother worked morning shift, so that there was always somebody at home to look after his dad.

The third stage was when Suresh started traveling alone. He went to India and Thailand. He didn’t have proper ways to see things, he just ventured. Then he started hosting and slowly found out how he wanna travel. He realized he could just live a life off his backpack.

For his big journey, he wanna travel to the Eastern part of the world, like Cambodia, Philippines, Thailand, Myanmar, etc because the West is too expensive. It will also depend how much the trip will cost, he needs to budget. He has done many
short trips in India and will finish off the rest when he starts his trip. To him, India is like a half read book. India is the first closest land to Sri Lanka, and is a big country and a world on its own. There he could meet people from countries where he never heard of. It is a good place to start his big trip and good way to learn how to travel.

Sri Lanka is a small country and he has spent his life traveled around and have seen almost all of it. His passion is burning inside he really wanna get out and see new things. He felt he is stuck in a small island and he wanna fly out. He likes to travel to the destinations by trains or buses more than planes. The moments experienced along the way are more important than the destinations. He likes to meet people and see more things, he prefers to travel day time because if he were to travel at night he could only sleep. For buses, there are only one or two people sitting next to him, trains, however, he can move around and connect with people and relax and write and do whatever he wants. He likes to travel to places with untouched nature and without phone coverage. He enjoys getting lost, and finds his way back more than taking a map along.

He hosts people through couchsurfing to remind himself not to settle down in a 8-5 job life because a lot of people are traveling which inspire him not to let the fire burn down. He just needs to have a proper plan. Through hosting travelers he could see the world through other people’s eyes. He has learnt many things even without being there. Sri Lanka is such a small island, but through travelers’ eyes, he could look at the same things in a totally different way. Sometimes when he is free he would travel with his surfers as well. So far he has hosted 25 different nationalities, to him it was like a world class buffet. Travelers all have different experience, some just started, some were used to couchsurfing, some were new in backpacking, they would just sit down and learn about each other’s culture and exchange different views. To him it was also like an educational process, to prepare himself for his dream, a training period to get ready for his big trip.

Suresh preferred to do solo travel because he can learn himself within, how tolerant, respectful, or arrogant he is. People has different thoughts, cultural or political views, if he is being confronted, then he will know how he adapt, accept or react. It is a learning process for him to discover himself. He would’t know all these until he is put under different environments where people dunno him. People will react, question, tell, explain and will make him think right or wrong. Friends always sugar-coated the speech as they do not wanna hurt him and would not put the facts out.

Suresh said he won’t use time to define how long his trip will be, may be till he feels like getting home, or when he gets sick of hostels, train travels, seeing things, always packing unpacking, saying hi bye to people.

Suresh shared his favorite quote with me, “All is well, that ends well.” from Shakespeare, meaning everything is good when it ends good. He needs to hold on at the moment to buy bullets.

Interviewing Suresh was really an inspiring experience to me. He was such a knowledgeable guy and had lots of interesting thoughts. We also shared similar thoughts towards traveling too. He told me being religious is not the same as being spiritual, which was something I never thought of. Although he was born a Hindu, he didn’t want to tag himself with a label because he believes he can get good things from every other religions. It all depends how one interprets the messages and lives by the morals.

Suresh gave me a multipurpose knife as the present in exchange. It was his first knife and had been with him for 5-6 years and went to 3 different countries with him. It traveled with him and always helped him out in emergency situations during hiking or camping. Once it was lost in a trekking journey and he decided to walk another 2 hours and went all the way back to look for it. It was a good memory for celebration after hardship as he always used it to open cans. It also has a simple theory how life should be, with so many different tools inside just like so many people in so many different ways. He hope the knife can help the next person and taped his love power, and will mean something as well.

8/6/2014
Written in a CS farm house in Mysore, India

夢想專訪8 – 斯里蘭卡男生的35歲退休夢

「他生於印度教的家庭,但卻不想標籤自己,因為他相信每個宗教都有好的東西可以學到,只看人們怎樣去理解箇中的內容和有否按著教義來生活。」


Suresh是我在斯里蘭卡最後一位借宿主人。本來不打算到他家借宿了,因為只能逗留一個晚上,通常我會至少住上兩晚的,起碼多點時間跟沙發主人交流。可是,人算不如天算,旅程有點阻礙,最後我還是很感恩能在他家借宿了,雖然大家只有幾個小時的交流時間。他要上夜班到零晨才下班,可是他第二天早上還是七點就起床和我做夢想專訪。

辭官 歸隱
Suresh今年28歲,卻有一個35歲退休的大計,聽起來是很多人夢寐以求的完美退休計劃啊,我也很有興趣知道他打算怎麼做,因為只剩下七個年頭而已。

他解釋很希望能在35歲的時候去一個長途旅行,然後,在斯里蘭卡某個地方安頓下來,過一種健康有機生活。清新的空氣,乾淨的水源,寧靜的地方,附近有瀑布、叢林,最重要的是沒有電話網絡,不會被人騷擾。他討厭城市快速的節奏和要捱更抵夜,他喜歡聽小鳥唱歌和瀑布流動的聲音。

要成功在35歲出發長途旅行,首先他要確保自己有足夠的積蓄,好好計劃來年和有一定的收入。他有兩個念頭,一是自己開始做生意,他只會做他懂的和有信心的事情,過去六年他在外貿工作學了很多技巧,可以把知識運用到其他行業裏,如果能三十歲前開始做生意,他將會有五年時間建立和把生意轉交別人打理,那樣他就可以出發長途旅行,還同時間有收入來源。另一個念頭是繼續在現職公司工作直至35歲,到時候拿取一筆很可觀的離職金,可以之後他再沒有收入來源了。

生命 無常
Suresh說他的生命中有三個很重要的階段成就了今天的他。他大學畢業就立即工作,沒有gap year這回事,第一份工作是當股票經紀,那是一份很繁忙的工作。2004年的海嘯,他從電視上得知情況惡劣得很,於是跑去報名當義工,但當抵達現場卻看見到處頹垣敗瓦和死傷慘重,那次悲痛的經驗讓他學會了生命的無常,就算做甚麼工作或有多少收入,永遠不知道甚麼時候自己要離開。於是,他轉工了,換了一份沒有那麼緊張的活動管理工作。

第二個階段是媽媽過身,他再次轉換工作,就是現在這份上夜班的,他哥哥上早班,所以家中永遠有人照顧爸爸。

世界 是一本百科全書
第三個階段,Suresh開始一個人旅行。他到過印度和泰國,他沒有特定的方式看東西,只是胡亂冒險。然後他開始接待借宿客人,慢慢找到自己喜歡的旅行方式,他發覺,其實自己只需要一個背包的東西便足夠過日子了。

至於長途旅行,他打算到東方的國家,像柬埔寨、菲律賓、泰國、緬甸等,因為西方國家太昂貴了,他需要好好預算到底整個旅程會花費多少。他在印度已作了多次短途旅行,當開始長途旅行時會先把印度完成。對他來說,印度像一本未看完的小說,那是斯里蘭卡最近最大的土地,在哪裏他能夠遇到一些來自從沒聽說過國家的旅客,那將會是一個很好的地方去開始旅程和學習怎樣旅行。

斯里蘭卡是一個很小的國家,他已經差不多把每一個地方都遊覽過了。心裏那團火在燃燒,他很想出外看新的東西,現在他感到被困在一個小島國內,他想飛出去。他喜歡坐火車巴士多於飛機,因為過程遠比目的地重要。他喜歡與人接觸和看新奇的東西,在早上他才可以做到這些,在晚上的話只能睡覺了。坐巴士只有身旁的一兩個人可以交流,坐火車的話卻可以隨處走動與人交流,做甚麼都可以。他喜歡到一些未被破壞的郊區和沒有電話訊號的地方,喜愛迷路多於拿著地圖,然後再找回自己的路。

透過借宿網站他時常接待客人,提醒自己不要安頓於朝八晚五的工作,不要讓心中那團火熄滅,因為到處都是正在路上旅遊的人,他只要好好計劃一下就好了。透過接待客人,從他們身上了解這個世界,就算他從沒到過那些地方,卻學了很多東西。斯里蘭卡是一個小島國,透過旅客的眼睛卻讓他看見不同的東西,有空的時候他會和借宿客人外遊。現時為止他已接待過25個不同國家的客人,就像在吃一餐世界級自助餐。旅客有不同的經驗,有些才剛出門、有些時常借宿、有些是剛背包出遊,他們會一起坐下來互相分享彼此的文化和交換看法,對他來說這些都是很好的學習機會,為他的長途夢想之旅作準備和培訓。

旅行 是為了成長
Suresh較喜歡一個人旅行,因為他可以發現自己更多。他有耐性嗎?他會尊重別人嗎?他自大嗎?人們都有不同的看法,文化的政治的,當被別人挑釁時,他才會知道自己怎樣反應,妥協還是回應。他不會知道這些直至他遇上那些情況,尤其是別人都不認識他的,才會跟他說真心話,讓他思考事情正確與否。朋友只會說包裝過的說話,因為不想傷害他,也不會告訴他事實。

要旅程多久,他不會限制自己,也許當他覺得要回家,或是厭倦了旅館、火車旅行、看東西、時常收拾行裝、與人說你好再見等。

Suresh跟我分享了他最愛的座佑銘,「一切都好只要結果是好的」(All is well, that ends well),出自莎士比亞的著作。意思是只要結局是好的,過程中發生甚麼都是好事。所以現在他要好好堅持,好好儲備彈藥。

跟Suresh做訪問真是一個充滿啟發性的經驗,他是一個博學多才的人,有很多不同的見解,我們對旅行也有類似的看法。他跟我說原來religious和spiritual是不一樣的,我從來也沒想過這個分別。雖然他生於印度教的家庭,但卻不想標籤自己,因為他相信每個宗教都有好的東西可以學到,只看人們怎樣去理解箇中的內容和有否按著教義來生活。

最後他給我送了一把萬用刀作交換禮物,那是他第一把擁用的萬用刀,已經陪伴他五六個年頭了,也到過三個不同的國家。當他爬山或露營時候遇上緊急關頭,刀子常常幫得上忙。曾經他在爬山旅程中弄丟了,但卻決定往回走兩小時去把刀子尋回。他常常用刀子去開罐頭汽水之類,就像是紀念慶祝辛勞的完結。刀子還有一個簡單的人生理念,有那麼多不同用途的工具,就像人其實也很多元化,每個人都有他的用處的。他希望這把萬用刀可以幫助下一個追夢者,也能拿到他的能量。



8/6/2014
寫於印度邁索爾借宿主人在世外桃園的農莊





2014/06/09

流浪 就是為了解決難題

有一句說話
可以用錢解決的 就不是問題
換句話說
不用錢解決問題
就會有很多難題存在

不隨便用錢解決問題
除了幫我省下很多旅費外
還讓我多動腦筋
多想辦法
去解決每天在路上遇到大大小小各式各樣的難題

譬如說
由A點到B點
最簡單直接的方法
當然就是坐三輪的士
但是
原來我還可以自己想辦法
去找出巴士的路線
路在口邊
學習跟車長跟售票員跟乘客溝通
確保自己登上正確的巴士
再在正確的車站下車

當然
更多的時候
雖然省下了那丁點兒的錢
卻犧牲了很多寶貴的時間

因為
常常在言語不通的情況下
跟路人跟巴士司機跟售票員問路
最終
除了不肯定他們的答案到底可不可信
還會換來一肚子的氣

試過無數次
甲叫我到東邊
到東邊後乙又叫我到南面
到南面後丙又叫我到西面
到西面後丁又叫我到北面

又試過
明明我要坐X號巴士
等了二十分鐘後卻仍然沒有車
跟甲確認一下路線甲卻說X號巴士不對
叫我到遠方坐Y號巴士

走到遠方等Y號巴士
同樣等了二十分鐘仍然沒有車
跟乙確認一下
卻被告知那是一小時才開出一班的車
還叫我耐心等待

一小時過去了
仍然沒有車啊
然後丙說
為甚麼你不去等X號巴士呢
X號巴士每廿分鐘開出一班啊
!@#$%^&*

難題
永遠都不是那麼容易解決的

但是
我仍然樂於繼續用這種方式流浪

否則
我不會學會不要除便相信甲的話
起碼在同一個地方把乙和丙都問清楚才行動

還有
學會了好好控制自己的情緒
不要那麼容易動怒

因為
走錯路便走錯路吧
搭錯車便搭錯車吧

也許
我會因此看見不一樣的風景
遇見不一樣的有緣人

這樣
才算是流浪


 
Mysore, Karnataka, India - Jun 2014

Ochivaye Dreams 7 – Dream Big of a Sri Lankan Girl 夢想專訪7 – 斯里蘭卡女生的大夢想

Madara was my first couchsurfing host in Sri Lanka. We communicated through emails before my arrival and she told me to head to her office from the airport directly so that we could head to her home together. She gave me her office address in details without mentioning the name of the organization, I slowly found my way there by taking different buses in the heavy rain. Without expecting what organization she was working at, I ended up in a business area with a familiar logo on the front gate of a big office. Wasn’t it the UN logo? How come Madara didn’t mention it when she told me the office address, I was wondering. Wearing a giant backpack on my back, and another backpack in the front, I felt the security staff at the gate must be so in doubt who I was, hopefully not terrorist, wanted to get into such a sensitive international place at a rainy evening night.

United Nation, was once my dream to work at. However, the dream was too big for me and I gave it up later as I realized I was just not the person they needed. When I found out my host Madara was a staff there, I was so keen to know how she made her way there.

Madara, 26, shared with me she was actually having 3 dreams at the moment. She remember she wanted to get in to UN 13 years ago when she was only 15. One day, a social worker went to the class and asked them what they wanna do in the future, then she started thinking other than being a better person. She felt she could always empathize to people and helped others out in school, she thought she could work in the charity sector, and working in the United Nation became her goal since then.

After leaving high school, Madara started working when she was doing her University degree at the same time. During her past 6 years of work experience, she worked in different NGOs to pave her path to the UN, including 2 years of work experience in the Sri Lanka youth parliament. She has been interested in the HIV field and spent some time in it too. She just finished her Master Education on Development Studies, and is finishing off her thesis on Economics and Social Re-integration of HIV positive women.

Madara shared her work life was not really that smooth. After the civil war ended, 700-800 NGOs shut down. She thought may be the path didn’t work for her. She quitted her job and waited at home half a year to figure out what she wanted. Finally she got into her dream job in Feb 2014.

She wanted to learn as much as possible in the UN, especially in the foreign sectors. She may spend 4-5 years here, and try working in different sectors other than HIV if possible.  

Her next dream is to be a foreign career diplomat under the government. She wanted to represent Sri Lanka and be an ambassador and got posted in different countries. She wanted to get in by choice, not by political appointed. This dream had been in her mind along with her UN dream. She will also need to pass an exam on Sri Lanka and foreign issues.

Her next dream is to be part of the global Century Club, where members have traveled more than 100 countries. It is a good networking place to meet friends. These people are either traveling, working overseas or living abroad.

At the moment, she could only do short travels between her work holidays. She is the only daughter so she needs to take care of her parents. She love to travel alone and enjoy life in her own pace, she doesn’t go to famous places, but whatever catch her eyes. She doesn’t like to do things everybody else does. She likes to mingle with people and see the world. She is happy with her life achieving goals set for herself. Even if she dies the next day, she is a happy person.

She shared her favorite quote, “Your joy is your sorrow unmasked”, from the book “The Prophet”, written by Kahlil Gibran, a Lebanese-American poet and writer. If you embrace your sorrow with a belief that it’s fleeting, it passes and joy emerges.


Madara gave me a heart shaped jade as the present in exchange. It is a ritualistic healing stone she got from a good friend of her who shared the same birthday. It has the magical power to drive away evil and cleanse off the bad thing. However, being an atheist, she wish to pass it to somebody who believes and will take the power instead.

夢想專訪7 – 斯里蘭卡女生的大夢想

「能夠向著自己訂立的目標走,她覺得很快樂,就算明天離世了,她也死而無憾了。」


Madara是我在斯里蘭卡第一位借宿主人,在我抵埗前我們是靠電郵通訊的,她建議我直接從機場到她辦公室,然後我們可以一起回家,她還給了我辦公室的地址,但卻沒有提及公司的名字。在滂沱大雨的傍晚時分,我轉乘了好幾部巴士,慢慢找尋她工作的地方,在完全沒有頭緒的情況下,我來到一個商業區,一個大型總部的大閘門口,上面掛著一個大大的徽章,那,不是聯合國的標誌嗎?為甚麼她告訴我公司地址的時候不一塊兒說呢?我,後面背著一個大背包,前包掛著一個小背包,大閘入口處的保安人員一定心想我到底想幹甚麼,一個滂沱大雨的晚上來到一個那麼敏感的國際組織,希望他們不要以為我是恐怖分子吧。

聯合國,曾經是一個我夢寐以求入職工作的地方,但是,這個夢想實在太大太遙不可及,於是我最終還是放棄了,因為我發覺自己並不是他們所需要的人。當發覺借宿主人竟然在聯合國工作,我立即對她的故事產生了興趣,很想知道她到底是怎麼入職的。

聯合國助人夢
Madara 今年26歲,現在她總共有三個夢想。還記得十五歲的時候,她已經下決心要入職聯合國了。有一天,一位社工到班上來問大家將來有甚麼夢想,她開始思索,除了要當一個好人外,到底還能幹甚麼呢?她想,自己在學校時常幫助弱勢社群,充滿同理心,不如就在慈善組織工作吧。於是,入職聯合國成為了她的夢想。

離開中學之後,她開始了工作的生涯,她選擇一面讀大學一面工作。過去六年,她在不同的慈善組織工作,其中兩年更是在斯里蘭卡青年議會。她對愛滋病議題有興趣,也做過相關工作,剛剛更完成了一個發展研究碩士課程,畢業論文以患有愛滋病的婦女為議題,只剩下最後一點點修改便能正式畢業了。

不過,她的工作生涯其實並不是那麼順境。內戰結束後有七八百間慈善組織倒閉,她辭職呆在家中半年去思考自己到底想要甚麼,也想過可能那不是她要走的路。最終在今年二月,她終於成功入職她夢寐以求的聯合國工作。現在她希望能在聯合國花四五年時間學最多的東西,除了在愛滋病部門外,也希望能夠嘗試在不同的部門工作,尤其是外交部的。

外交旅遊夢
可一個目標,Madara想當一個外交官,代表斯里蘭卡政府出國做訪問,她想當那種自願性的,不是政治委任的。這個夢想一點也不容易,因為很多人競爭,她首先要完成一個斯里蘭卡外交事宜考試並取得好的成績才能向前進發。

第三個夢想,她想成為「全球世紀會」(Global Century Club)的成員,入會資格是,必須曾到訪至少一百個國家。她覺得那會是一個很好的社交圈,因為成員都遊歷經驗豐富,都是在外地工作或生活的人。

現在,她間中會在工餘時作短期旅行,因為是獨女要照顧父母,所以不能出國太久。她喜歡一個人旅行,按著自己的速度走,她不喜歡到名勝古蹟,反而喜歡到有感覺的地方,別人愛做的她都不愛做就是了。她還喜歡跟來自世界各地的人接觸。能夠向著自己訂立的目標走,她覺得很快樂,就算明天離世了,她也死而無憾了。

Madara跟我分享她最愛的座佑銘,「把你的悲傷脫下面具,其實就是你的喜悅」(Your joy is your sorrow unmasked),是出自一位美籍黎巴嫩詩人作家的小說The Prophet,意思是若果能夠擁抱悲傷,懷著信念它會過去的,喜悅便會出現。

最後,她給我送了一顆心型玉石作交換禮物,那是一顆有治療力量的玉石,是一位和她同日生日的好友送的,它有趕走邪惡和淨化的神奇力量。可是,作為一個無神論者,她希望能夠把玉石轉送給一位相信並能夠使用那些力量的人。