Without any plans, I came to this ashram and
orphanage located in the desert area suddenly. I met so many Westerners here,
aged from 20s to 60s, most of them came here to stay for a short period of time
every year. I met a family from Belgium on the first evening I arrived, and got
to know the mother and daughter. They both came for 1.5 month only, while the
son was already here for 2.5 years. The mother just bought a house nearby and
wanted to ask the son to help taking care of it while she was gone, but the son
insisted to stay in the volunteer quarter inside the ashram. He would rather
use his precious time to serve the children here than taking care of the house.
I always bumped into this guy during the first 3 days of my arrival, but he was
always so busy that we never got to say hello. Till yesterday, I finally
managed to sit down and had a long chat with him, understanding his unique
story.
Sarva is his name here, meaning “God is
everywhere”. He didn’t even want to mention his Belgium name to me. Sarva is
very young, 27 only, but has already been here for 2.5 years. After I explained
why I was interviewing him, he was like telling his story thousand times before
already, shared his story with me in a very organized and timely way.
Sarva used to be like one of the typical
youth, studied in Europe, went out for movies and played video games with
friends in his spare time. His mom was always interested in spirituality, and
practiced meditation all the time. His dad, however, wasn’t interested in
spirituality at all, only wanted to do business and earn money. Sarva always
laughed at his mom, made jokes on everything she did on spirituality. One day
suddenly, Sarva started thinking why he was doing that. It was really not nice
to do that to his own mother.
Sarva used to have very low confidence. He
had doubts, fear and was always unsure about many things. He always thought in
a scientific way, didn’t have too much feelings or intuitions. He felt
something was not right and he had to change something in his life. It was his
final year of study, what was he going to do in the following year? Work?
Study? Start a family? All seemed wrong. He had been studying for 23 years
since his birth. Then he decided to spend a year traveling in India. He started
looking up on the internet, he wanted to go to a spiritual place, somewhere
wisdom, something useful to take with in his life, not just to have fun.
He didn’t know anything about that place,
nor his mom. He later found online a website of an ashram in India, good
information, good pictures, and most important it was free of charge. He
believed that the pure things should be without cost. However, after settling
everything, at the very last moment, the ashram asked him for a lot of money,
telling him the course had been changed for Indians only, foreigners needed to
pay 5000 Euros. Since he had already fixed his mind so hard on that, he agreed
to pay, thought that he would work hard later to earn back the money. In the
next morning he told his mom to help him pay in advance, but throughout the day
he was feeling bad because it really cost a lot of money. In the evening he
asked his mom again, and his mom really didn’t pay. His mom said her friend
called and said she could not sleep whole night thinking of Sarva’s story,
thinking the place would not be a good place to go if he had to pay so much.
She shared she knew a famous Saint in India called Swami, who was the founder
of this Sri Premananda Ashram.
Sarva looked it up on the internet about
Swami, he watched his videos, and found that Swami wanted nothing but love from
his followers. Sarva felt very good from looking at Swami’s picture, felt he
looked so genuine. He read his articles, knowing that he was in prison, but he
believed he was innocent. Sarva really wanted to come here. Finally, he came in
2009, and stayed for 4 months. He had a private interview with Swami, although it
only lasted for 5 minutes. Swami told Sarva it was very important for him to
have a spiritual life. Sarva listened to him and decided to stay for 4 months,
he changed a lot since then. Was it the interview that changed him, he was also
not sure.
After Sarva went home, he totally changed
to a different person. He was so neat, and helped his mom to make food. He
started to understand the importance of family, and helped people who were
difficult. His peers were all shocked to see his changes. He no longer played
video games, went to movies, he liked to do puja, meditation, and became a
vegetarian. He had faith in Swami he would stay strong, and would no longer go
back to the old habits. His mom, sister and grandmom slowly accepted this great
Saint as well.
Sarva didn’t see his old friends anymore.
His mom also started a Swami centre in Belgium. His sister met his French
boyfriend in a Swami meditation course, and will be coming to the ashram for
their wedding ceremony next year February.
The first time when Sarva was here, Swami
told him to go back home to finish his study. His dad also wanted him to finish
his phD. Sarva started his phD on pharmacy on herbal medicine in 2010, however,
he quitted in 6 months because no company wanted to sponsor his research
anymore. It was difficult in Europe because all companies only thought about
earning money when herbal medicine cost so much in research but had so little
in returns. Sarva didn’t know whether he should come back to India or not
because Swami asked him to finish his studies before going back to India.
Sarva decided to head to Spain for the pilgrimage
of Santiago de Compostela. He spent 40 days in 2011, walked 1000km from
Loundes, France to Spain. Walking became a way of life during those days. He arrived
at different places everyday and met so many young people, saw other spiritual
things, and got to think about things. After the pilgrimage Sarva found his
answer, he had to come back to India. Time flies, he has already been here for
2.5 years since 2011. He really liked to be here.
Sarva liked to stay for some time here but
didn’t want to tell how long. He liked it here. The spiritual life in ashram is
easy, seva, puja, meditation. These are all easy things. Life outside ashram is
too difficult, money, houses, family, too many things always have to be done. A
lot of visitors come here to do seva, are all inspiring to the children. You do
not need to change the whole world, but you can still do the work that need to
be done.
Now Sarva mainly did seva with the children
and the youth. He didn’t particularly like youth. He was only interested in the
children here. He always wanted to see the children. He thought it was so
important for the children to be happy. The children here inspired him to do
youth work.
The children here are very special. Most of
them do not have parents or never saw them before. They have to be very strong,
take care of themselves and wash their own clothes. Every morning they need to
get up at 4am and go to the puja hall for the abhishekam and do seva. They watch
Swami’s videos, get to know this Saint, and learn more in spirituality. Sarva
would lead the children and do gardening seva. Sarva said it is not about the
work, but to get to know the nature, work together in a group, respect each
other, how to do things, be organized, be neat. Most importantly, the children
should learn to do things because love doing it, rather than prize or
punishment. With this attitude they can do anything. Sarva also have morning
meetings with the leaders, tell them what they did well and not well, he tells
stories, shared his life, ask about their lives, and give out spiritual
messages.
Sarva shared Swami’s sayings, no matters
big or small person say something, one must listen and think well because they
have equal value. Small children are very pure, they are not affected by the
world yet. Future of the world depends on children raised today. Just like
today’s world are now ruled by the children raised 30 years ago. It is
important for the children today to do more selfless seva, puja, meditation to
have good foundation. The world can become a better place.
Sarva said Swami also wanted to change
young people today. They lost their potential, are not strong, nor taking
initiatives. They only reply on the external things like computers, TV, media,
short term happiness. They must learn to live happy, be together, listen and
help each other, be with families, think what they want to do in life and what
is good for them. Life is like a journey, everyone is on a visit. We all come
with nothing and go with nothing. Think about it, do something good, don’t
waste time on things. Swami encouraged people to do things, but didn’t say one
must, he only said can, and asked them to make their own decisions, how to do
and when to do. Study is very important, only when have freetime then they can
go to youth group, be with young people, do service, meditation, get inspired,
they would not feel alone in spirituality.
Sarva think this is a very special place,
the physical vibration of the energy is special here, and it is easier for the
mind to focus. When a person is always staying at a flower field and get used
to it, unless he leave this place, then he can understand the difference. Just
like people go to the downtown and come back here, then they can feel the
energy difference.
Swami went to jail in 1994, Sarva thought
that was because Swami was very popular. High trees get more wind, Sarva said.
Newspaper, TV always reported here. Swami went to Samadhi in 2011, but this
ashram kept on going well till today, many people were surprised and thought it
was a miracle.
Swami encouraged people to live a normal
life, have work and family, but also have spiritual life. Sarva love this Saint
so much, he learnt a lot from his teachings. He would like to work on the
values he gave.
Sarva used to feel he could not live fully,
was not complete, felt blockage, could not use his energy and went all the way.
Now, however, he feels he can live fully.
Sarva shared in order to live your dream, one
must follow your heart. It may be difficult at first but after you will feel
great. Use the time well. The maximum we can live is 100 years old, so how are
we going to live? Since we have nothing during birth or death, we would not
lose anything. Don’t be afraid too much, the only goal we should have is to be
happy.
Sarva gave me a book named “Way of Life – Youth
in Unity”, which was the first spiritual discourse book and was only published
recently. They collected Swami’s teachings for youth, like how to be in unity
with family and friends. When Swami was living he used to write letters and
gave speech to the youth. Now he had gone to Samadhi, this book can give advice
and inspirations to all the youth followers from all over the world.
25/03/2014
written in Sri Premananda Ashram volunteer
quarter
夢想專訪5 – 比利時藥劑師的靈修夢
「要好好運用自己的時間，每人頂多活到100歲，要想清楚自己要怎麼生活。既然出生和死亡都是兩袖清風，也不需要害怕失去任何東西，不要害怕太多，唯一的目標，就是要活得快樂。」
無意中來到這間位於沙漠地帶的修道院暨孤兒院，遇見很多歐美人士在這裏靈修。他們的年紀，廿多歲到六十多歲都有，很多都是自己一個人每年過來作短期靈修，大約逗留一兩個月左右便回國。最令我印象深刻的，是一個來自比利時一家三口的家庭，剛到埗的晚上認識了母親和女兒，她們都是作短期靈修而已，但原來兒子卻已經在這裏逗留了兩年半了。母親最近在修道院附近買了房子，打算叫兒子幫忙看管，兒子卻寧願繼續住在修道院範圍內的宿舍，因為時間對他來說太重要了，他寧願多花時間去侍奉去幫助小孩子，也不願花時間打理那個新居。剛到埗的頭三天常常碰見這個男生，他卻好像很匆忙的，完全沒有跟他打招呼的機會，直至昨天，機緣巧合下竟然有機會坐下來跟他聊天，了解他的故事。
Sarva是這個男生在這裏的名字，是神靈無處不在的意思，他已經不願意透露自己真正的名字了。他很年輕，才27歲，已經在這間修道院逗留了兩年半的時間。解釋了我想訪問他的因由後，他像是已經說了無數次自己的故事一樣，很有組織很有時序地把故事跟我娓娓道來。
沒有目標的過去
唸書時期的Sarva是一個典型的歐洲年輕人，有空和朋友去看電影、打遊戲機。他媽媽一直都對靈性修行很有興趣，時常都做冥想打坐，但他爸爸卻對此完全不感興趣，只想做生意和賺錢。Sarva會常常拿媽媽開玩笑，笑她一切有關靈修的舉動。突然有一天，他開始思考為甚麼自己會這樣子拿媽媽開玩笑呢？這些舉動其實都是不應該的。
從前的他是一個決乏自信的人，對很多東西充滿懷疑、不確定，感到很不安。他是一個思考型的人，沒有太多情感和直覺，但總是覺得生命中有些東西不對勁，應該要改變。最後一年唸書，他開始思考畢業後要做甚麼。工作？讀書？組織家庭？好像都不對，出生開始已經不斷在唸書了，唸了23個年頭了。於是，他決定用一年時間去旅行。
讀萬卷書不如行萬里行
最後，Sarva決定去印度。他上網找資料，想找一處靈性的地方，一處充滿智慧的地方，讓他能夠學到有用的東西，能夠放在生命裏用得著的，他清楚知道，自己並不是去遊玩。但是，要到那裏呢？他媽媽也不知道。不斷在網上找資料，終於，他找到了一個網站，是一間在印度的修道院。相片、文字描述都很好，跟他所思所想的都很吻合，最重要的是免費的，他相信，只有免費的東西才是最清純。可是，當所有報名程序都辦妥，當他準備就緒即將要出發時，這間修道院卻突然跟他說之前報名的免費課程現在只開放給印度人，外國人需要另外收費五千歐羅。
由於已把全副心機放到這間修道院去了，Sarva只好答允交費，打算之後努力工作把錢賺回來，第二天早上出門前還交託媽媽先幫忙交費。可是一整天思前想後總是覺得這件事不對勁，因為收費真的太高昂了！晚上回家後立即問媽媽，她竟然說還沒有交費，原來當天她的朋友來電，說聽聞了Sarva的故事後突然在前一晚失眠，覺得要付那麼高昂的費用怎會是一個好的靈修地方呢！於是跟他媽媽說她知道印度有另一位聖人Swami。這位聖人，就是這間修道院的創辦人。
聖人的教導
Sarva上網看Swami的資料和影片，得知這位聖人甚麼都不會向信徒索取，他只需要信徒的愛戴。看見Swami的樣子Sarva已經感覺很平安，覺得他很真摯。看了他的文章得知他在服刑，但Sarva相信他是無辜的。那一刻開始，Sarva就很想很想到這間修道院。終於，2009年第一次來到，還有機會跟Swami單獨見面，雖然只是短短五分鐘的時間，Swami對他說，靈性追求對Sarva來說非常重要。因為那次單獨會面，Sarva決定留下來四個月，從此也改變了自己。
回家後他簡直變了另外一個人，變得很整潔，還會幫母親煮菜。他開始明白家庭的重要，還會主動幫助有需要的人。以前的朋友對他的轉變都大吃一驚，他不再打電子遊戲、看電影，只會去冥想打坐，還當了一個素食者。他對Swami有了一份信念，會堅持這種轉變，不會再沉迷以往的壞習慣，母親、妹妹和祖母也因而開始了解這位聖人。
他也不再跟以前的朋友來往，母親還在比利時開了一間 Swami靈修中心，妹妹透過Swami的冥想活動認識了法藉丈夫，明年二月還會專程來到印度的修道院舉行婚禮。
夢想的十字路口
Sarva第一次在這裏逗留的時候，Swami曾叫他先回國完成學業才回來，他爸爸也想他完成博士學位。於是在2010年他開始唸草本藥劑學，可是只唸了半年就沒有繼續了，因為沒有公司願意資助他進行硏究。在歐洲，所有藥廠都只想賺錢，而草本藥劑學的硏究成本太高了，利潤又少。那個時候，Sarva處於一個進退兩難的處境，他不知道自己應不應該回來印度，因為，Swami叫他要完成學業才回來的。
於是，他決定去西班牙一趟，去那個名為Santiago de Compostela的朝聖之旅，從法國用徒步的方式走路到西班牙。在2011年他用了四十天時間，總共走了一千公里路完成朝聖之旅。在路上，每天的徒步變成了生活的一部分，每天都走到不同的地方，遇到很多年輕人，看見了不同的靈性追求，思考了不同的事情。完成壯舉後也找到了答案，他知道自己要回來這裏。時光飛逝，2011年底到現在，轉眼間原來已經待了兩年半了，他真的很喜歡這個地方。
助人 自助
Sarva希望在這裏逗留一段時間，但又不想說實多久。他喜歡這個地方，喜歡這裏的靈性生活。這裏的生活很簡單，就是侍奉、朝拜、冥想，真是簡單不過的事情。外面的生活太複雜了，金錢、房屋、家庭，很多煩瑣但又不能不做的事。那麼多外國人來這裏侍奉，也可以給小孩子做好榜樣，啟發他們，就算不能改變整個世界，但起碼可以做自己能力範圍內的事。
現在他主要做小孩子和年青人的侍奉工作，Sarva本身沒有特別喜歡年青人工作，是在這個地方愛上了小孩子。他常常想去看小孩子，小孩子活得快樂是最重要的，是這裏的小孩子激發他去做年青人工作。
助苗 成長
這裏的小孩子都很特別，大部分都沒有父母，甚至沒有見過父母。他們都很堅強，要自己照顧自己，自己洗衣服，早上四時起床到禮堂禱告，然後做侍奉。他們會看Swami的影片，認識這位聖人，學習靈修的事情。Sarva會帶領小孩子做園藝侍奉，保持大自然清潔，他覺得最重要的不是做甚麼工作，是去認識大自然，學習與人合作、尊重別人、怎樣做事情，學組織能力，怎樣妥善管理器材等。最重要的，是希望孩子們能自發性去做，是從心去做那些事情，不是為了得到奬賞或避免懲罰，有了這樣的心態的話他們以後便能做任何事情了。每朝早Sarva會和小隊長集會，跟他們說有甚麼做得好和不好，也會分享自己生命中的小故事給他們聽，關心他們的生活，和傳遞一些靈性訊息。
Sarva緊記了很多Swami教誨，他說過，無論是大人物還是小孩子說話，都要用心聆聽和思考他們說話的內容，因為它們的價值是等同的。小孩子很清純，沒有被世俗影響，世界的未來是依賴現在的小孩子，他們現在怎樣成長非常重要，就像現在的世界是由三十年前的小孩子所管治一樣，所以現在的小孩子要多做無私的侍奉、禱告、冥想，有了穩固的基礎，未來的世界才會變得更好。
Swami的教導是希望能改變現在的年青人，因為現今的年青人有點迷失，他們不知道自己的潛能，不夠堅強，他們只會依賴外在的事物，只愛物質和玩樂。年青人要活得快樂，應該做一些對自己有益的事情，多點互相幫助，學習聆聽別人，跟家人一起，思考自己人生到底想要些甚麼。人生只是一場旅途，出生時一無所有，去世時同樣是一無所有，應該想想在這個世界做甚麼，多做善事，不應浪費時間。Swami會鼓勵年青人，他不會說一定要，但他會說可以這樣做，自己作決定怎樣做、何時做，不過讀書始終是最重要的，有空可以去青年聚會，跟其他年青人一起做侍奉、做冥想，互想啟發激勵，在靈性追求上才不會孤單。
活出聖人的夢想
Sarva說，這裏是一個很特別的地方，因為這裏的能量震動很特別，很容易令心靈專注起來。不過，當一個人一直待在花園旁，習慣了這裏的氣味，除非離開這裏，否則是不會感覺到那個分別的。就像人們每次出去繁華的市中心，回來這裏後一定會感覺到那股不同的能量。
Swami在1994年被判入獄，但Sarva覺得那是因為樹大招風，他太有名氣了，以前的電視、報紙傳媒都常常報導這裏。Swami在2011年初圓寂，但這裏仍能繼續運作至今時今日，很多人都覺得驚訝，覺得是奇蹟。從前他最愛鼓勵人們要過正常的生活，要有工作、家庭，同時也要有靈性追求。Sarva很愛戴這位聖人，他的教導令自己學會了很多東西，他願意跟從那些教導去付出。
從前自己總覺得生活不完整，做事不能做得好，感覺有阻礙，不能用盡自己的能力，現在，Sarva終於感覺到那份存在的價值，可以完完整整的生活。要活出夢想，要跟隨自己的心意行事，遇到阻礙不用害怕，事過境遷後便會感到那份喜悅。要好好運用自己的時間，每人頂多活到100歲，要想清楚自己要怎麼生活。既然出生和死亡都是兩袖清風，也不需要害怕失去任何東西，不要害怕太多，唯一的目標，就是要活得快樂。
Sarva給我送了一本名為Way of Life –
Youth in Unity的書，是修道院今年才出版的。他們從Swami的教誨中收錄了給年青人的說話，好像怎樣和家人朋友和平共處等。Swami在世時會給年青人寫信、講道，但現在他已經圓寂了，所以希望把這本書送給世界各地接受Swami教誨的年青人，給他們啟發和提供意見。
25/03/2014
寫於Sri Premananda Ashram宿舍房間
